Grace Massoud wrote this article in MTV website:
According to Texan trial lawyer Jefferson Fisher, words are the most powerful tool you possess in your arsenal. You want to seem more confident, use more assertive words. You want to command more respect, speak respectful words. You want to be considered a kind and thoughtful person, utter only positive and uplifting words.
You can literally become whoever you want to be if you choose your words wisely.
Some pro tips Jefferson recently shared on the Mel Robbins podcast should be set in stone.
When in a networking event, focus your attention on one person. A real and meaningful connection is better than a bunch of small talk that eventually lead nowhere and amount to nothing.
Do not ask people how they are. People talk about the past when you do that and the conversation tends to take a negative turn. Instead ask what they’re excited about, what they’re looking forward to, and watch how the interaction unfolds positively. That way, you leave a delightful mark on the person.
Try to be more truthful even in small banters. You can put it in terms of the weather to take the edge off a real answer, for instance: Every cloud has a silver lining.
It breaks the autopilot we all seem to fall into and gives a real and satisfying meaning to the conversation.
Do not overshare. The more words we use to talk about a truth, the more it sounds like a lie. Do not be an avalanche and a waterfall. Be a well. Entice people to dig a little deeper, always leaving them wanting more.
Moreover, slow down your words, take a beat before you respond to actually reply authentically.
Have conversational values so that you stay true to who you are and how you want to be portrayed, for how you want to be perceived guides how you show up and how you communicate. An example of a conversational value is: “If you can’t be a bridge, be a lighthouse.” When you find that you can’t land on middle ground, be a source of light they can go back to at any time. Other commendable values are: “If there’s room for kindness, I will use it”, “Tell them who I am without telling them my name”.
Have conversational goals so that the conversation is productive and actually leads somewhere beneficial to all parties involved.
Listen to understand, don’t listen to reply. Most people are just waiting for their turn to share their views and opinions, without paying much attention to what you’re saying.
The words you use in front of people is the feeling you leave them with. Henceforth, use kind words, don’t judge others, wear a kind smile, and find something admirable about them to compliment such as their hair or nails.
Pro tips to be a better communicator at work: Be curious about other people, don’t push you own agenda. Do not gossip lest you be associated with the person or the information relayed. Use words like direction that show more authority, that you are captain of the ship: “I’d like to set the direction of the conversation”.
Pro tips to be a better communicator at home: Show them that you care with your words when you engage in the hard conversations. Utilize these: I love you, I’m proud of you, and a real winner, the “I’m learning too” which de-escalates an argument with a child. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to apologize.
Words have the power to transform your entire image at any stage of your life. “If you use it for good, and if you use it for light, you’re always gonna go right”. Use that power wisely, your life depends on it.
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