Grace Massoud wrote this article in MTV website:
Speaking from personal experience, emotional strength had always been a challenge for me before I did the work and manned up.
When you constantly have heightened emotions and a good heart, it means you’re of a sensitive nature and more at risk of getting hurt. This makes you an easy target for ill-doers and nasty people, which run rampant in today’s world, whether in social settings or in the workplace. Developing thick skin has become a necessity.
Jefferson Fisher, Texas trial lawyer, has got a surefire way to sustain control of your emotions and toughen up when provoked in a conversation.
Stop giving out remote controls and start handing out manuals. If you see that some people are taking liberties with how they speak to you, making you feel inadequate, and are being disrespectful or irrational, draw a boundary and give them a guide stating that this is how I function. The only person in control of your emotions is you.
First things first, it starts with communicating your system requirements. You merely say that’s not going to work for me, or that doesn’t work for me, when they spurt something negative at you.
You follow it up with what does work for you: “That’s not going to work for me, if there’s a chance we can talk about this peacefully/if you’re willing to talk about this respectfully, then I’m all for it.”
This tactic will help you become emotionally stronger and regain control of how you feel which no one should be in charge of but you.
On a personal level, the method that I found most useful is to detach from anyone who I don’t have very dear feelings for. Why should I care what hurtful things they say? These people mean nothing to me and whatever they say or don’t say should have no effect on me whatsoever. Therefore, I should rob all meaning from their words and let them fall to the floor.
Second of all, do I truly believe they are correct? Our self-love and self-belief should be solid enough not to be shaken by someone else’s nonsensical allegations.
Thirdly, I should never take to heart the hurtful comments of people I wouldn’t switch places with, people whose way of life or whose convictions I don’t condone and respect.
Hopefully, this will help you on your journey to emotional strength and freedom, which are truly achieved when you shake off or tame the reactions to external triggers. Calmness is Mastery.
How to Become Emotionally Stronger
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